Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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