Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
