I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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