New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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