i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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