His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize