It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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