At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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