Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
please don't ironically join a cult
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