Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
