Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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