Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she was so not down for the gang bang
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
