Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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