dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
