um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
