Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize