too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
