Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
