Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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