i just sold back the books i vomitted on
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
