where am i from again
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
