I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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