NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
