I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
