Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
