I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
