I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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