Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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