i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
