that's an acceptable place to lick
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
