My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
