hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
