So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
