I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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