His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
