Nicole vs. Life
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
