real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
