That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize