You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
