I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize