wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
