She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize