Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
love makes seman taste better
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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