hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
