He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
