Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
