He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
