Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
