It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
