I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So much rum. So many feels.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
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