So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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