i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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