You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
