Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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