I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
