I just cut my nipple shaving
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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