"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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