You made me cry and you don't even care
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
