he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize