So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
