I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
