her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
