Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
