We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
