you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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